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    Monday, September 28, 2009

    She Called ME a Groupie!!

    LOL! I find this incredibly funny but let's just go in and talk about this issue.

    Disclaimer: First, let me make this windex sparkling clear! I am in NO way condoning violence or anything of that matter....lol.  I am saying however if you have an issue, be a REAL woman and come to me and don't put your business on the internet b/c in the long run, you're the one who's gonna look like the dumb ass......not I.

    Anyway, since I was being called a "groupie" I decided to look into this word and find out what it means....well the correct definition that is.  Websters says as follows:

    Main Entry: group·ie

    Pronunciation: \ˈgrü-pē\
    Function: noun
    Date: 1966
    1 : a fan of a rock group who usually follows the group around on concert tours
    2 : an admirer of a celebrity who attends as many of his or her public appearances as possible
    3 : enthusiast, aficionado s> (source: here)

    Any questions on that one? That's clear right? OK, well I have another definition for you and this one comes from the Urban Dictionary and it reads:


    "One who will do almost anything including losing self respect to get near a specific celebrity or group.
    Not to be confused with a fan or supporter. (source: here)"

    My question is this: How am I being "the groupie"? Last time I checked and according to my references stated, the groupies "chase" after the celebrity.  In this case, there is NO celebrity! I only physically chased after one man in my life and that was my son's father and I was young and dumb.  Now the only man I chase for the rest of my life is GOD....no one else. Besides God, I chase money b/c that's what pays my bills and keeps my kids out of trouble.

    Confused? Well....let me make this story short as I can.  I made this statement yesterday on twitter:

    "#crazybitches find ways to get into your email & other personal accounts then delete them when they see shit they wasn't supposed to see"

    Harmless right? Of course, I made that as a general statement.  It wasn't directed to no one. Just like everyone else on twitter, it's all fun to me.  I-Net drama is for 13-16 yr. old kids who don't have shit else to do BUT to get into drama! I'm 27 w/ 3 kids on my own taking them to various foot ball and church functions PLUS going to school full time, so i-net drama is non existent in my world.  I'm from the era of if you have an "issue" come to me as a woman and speak TO me not AT me. With that, if you have "words" don't speak to me behind a computer screen and a keyboard. I mean seriously.

    Anyway, I digress....well the statement got re-posted by someone who is now known to me as a "Decepticon" (i'll explain that in a later blog) b/c from looking back at things, he was laughing about the hoopla he really created.  So this particular young lady, for lack of all things "lady like" calls herself wanting to reply back to the message with the mentality of I was speaking about her.  Which I wasn't.  So I politely said if I was speaking to her, it would be made known.  I have NO reason to hide. That's why my twitter page isn't "private".  If I'm gonna say it, I have no reason to hide behind a "private" profile.

    Then here comes the "groupie" statement.....basically she thinks I want her dude. In all actuality, he just wants out to begin with and this was said to me way before this mess popped off.  I feel like this, I don't want ANY male unless it's my boys and Jesus.  Point blank period.  Quite frankly, If YOUR man finds ME attractive I suggest you do what you need to do to keep his attention OFF me and back ON to you! That's just smart right? RIGHT!

    That being said.....the question is: who's the real "groupie" in this whole thing? is it the one who's getting mad about things b/c they've been the one who claims to be the "#1 fan" or the man who's looking elsewhere?  If you ask me...the #1 fan looks like the groupie b/c how many "groupies" you know claim to be a #1 fan just to fuck and live a happily ever after life? *Kanye Shrug* I'm just saying......

    Monday, September 21, 2009

    I AM Shy.....Somewhat...

    *pause* Before I get started..ya'll see that face right? BEAT! LOL!

    Anyway, I went out of town this weekend for my great granny's funeral.....R.I.P. "Ma" love you.......and I seen family I never KNEW I had from all over the place.  I never knew that my great granny had 15 kids! I "passed out" when I heard that news.  15 kids???? Like her twat was a revolving door thanks to kids! LOL! So, out of those 15 kids, she left 47 grand kids (my mom was one of them) and I'd say a GOOD 75-100 great grand kids......and that's just my personal guess.

    BUT....that's not the reason why I am posting this...I wanted to tell ya'll what I was being told over and OVER again while I was visiting family. "You're so pretty" or "She's gorgeous" or "When are you gonna start modeling?" O_o I feel like this...I am shy to an extent.  I have no problem w/ speaking and getting to know new people b/c that's natural to me.  I'm a friendly person so what do you expect? Now....when it comes to modeling, I see it like this.  Modeling is like performing in front of an audience.  Anyone who knows me well, knows I'm terrified to perform in public.  I stutter, get super nervous, break into sweats and depending on the situation, I get the shakes....lol.  Yes, I know it doesn't look like it, but it happens.  Ask the besite...he has talked me through some stuff boy! lol

    I will say this though, I'm looking into it....and if things go right, I'll go for it.  If not, oh well.

    When life hands you lemons......

    This weekend was the BEST weekend I could ever ask for. Even though the devil was busy, God turned his negatives into a multitude of positives and it was MORE than I can ask for. I thank HIM for allowing folks into my life that want to be here for me and love me for who I am and not wheat I can do for them. The biggest things that can ever be given to you can really be brought to you in smaller packages! Go figure?!

    Saturday, September 12, 2009


    You ever make a split decision w/o thinking all the way through?  We all do it and sometimes it actually works out for the better.  Everything turns out a-ok. Then there's that time when you do make a decision and you have a Homer Simpson moment and your slappin yo forehead goin "D'OH!" b/c you should have thought  about it before you acted upon your situation.

    I had one of those moments today.  I swear with everything in me, if I had the chance to take it back I would in a HEARTBEAT! I've been felling like sh*t in a handbag all damn day! I can't really get all the way mad at myself b/c I dropped the ball.  I should have just took the time out to think and I would not be feeling this way at all.  Now I'm sitting here worried b/c my actions may have messed up some shit in my life that's positive and may turn into another negative that I really don't need right about now. 

    The funny thing about it is, I wasn't even trying to be stupid, it just happened and I wasn't NOT expecting it.  It was just like "BAM" here it is......what chu' gon' boo? Now after the sh*t popped off....it's just silence.  Silence at times can be a good thing.  I have 3 kids, so I appreciate the silence I do actually receive whether they're in school or asleep.  However, when it's from someone you TRULY give a damn about, silence can kill you especially when it wasn't intentional.  I guess it's out of my hands, I just hope that everything comes together and I pray that all shall be forgiven.  Can I blame them for not forgiving? Not at all.....just hope that it doesn't come to that.

    Anywho, just had to get that off my mind and heart. Deuces.

    Friday, September 11, 2009


    I wrote this poem about a year ago.  To me it was just a random poem that didn't have no one is mind.  However, when I was reading over this poem, I started thinking about "someone" I've been close with for a while...*giggles* Yeah....at times I STILL get nervous around him.

    As the Luther played in the background
    And the fireplace flickered and crackled,
    I slowly sip the champagne I set
    aside for us, and let it chill over ice.
    I sit alone and wait patiently your arrival
    I suddenly feel petrified
    This night has been planned for days
    and weeks on end,
    We've talked and discussed
    this meeting before, and yet
    I am still petrified
    Why am I so damn scared?
    Hell, I don't know.
    I'm fly as hell in this La Perla lingere!
    My make-up is light but sudective,
    And my hair is slightly curled.
    Oh, and please believe I hit up
    Bath and Body works earlier today,
    and a sista is smellin just right.
    But yet inside I still feel petrified.
    I can't fight the butterflies in my stomach,
    The sweatiness in my palms,
    and the nervous tapping of my foot.
    I'm anxious to see what
    this "person" is all about.
    Hell, I've dreamed about it
    for almost 2 years now
    Why should I be bothered about it?
    Why am I so damn petrified?
    I know why, it's basically placed
    in front of me in black and white.
    I am indeed intimidated and he knows it!
    I've never been with a man of his caliber
    and the thought of us finally becoming closer,
    it leaves me totally petrified.
    What if I'm not all the he thought I was?
    What if my body turns him sour and cold?
    Will he enjoy me and actions?
    What if he thinks I'm not a good lover?
    Will he call after it's done and over?
    These multiple thoughts that are
    running through my head
    Is what leaves me petrified.
    There's a knock at my door.
    Shit!  It's him!
    There's no turning back now,
    So let the games begin.
    Maybe it'll be worth it.
    He just might fall in love with me.
    Like I said, all I can do is just
    Test the waters and see
    If he still leaves me
    Written by Vanessa R. Williams ©

    Thursday, September 10, 2009

    This Is Me.....No fillers or artificials

    My morning started off a bit discouraging and depressing so to speak. I'm doing the best with what I have and I make decisions differently than others. I'm sorry but I am my own person, not you you want me to be. I am in no way perfect. God knows who I am b/c he made me this way. I answer to no one but Him. Don't judge me. If you feel that I'm not "right" then oh well. Take that up with God, not me.

    Saturday, September 5, 2009


    I understand that friends are supposed to be there in good times and bad, but what's the right way to be there if they're not going to help themselves?  In that same light, should you be upset when you're always there for them or when they see something that you feel isn't "what it is"?

    I say do what is right for you.  If you feel that you are being a "good friend" by supporting them through whatever then fine and dandy. however, a REAL friend will tell you like it is whether you like it or not.  The real question is, are you mature enough to handle the truth when it's presented to you? Will you get upset and accuse that person that cares about you of being a hater or will you accept it for what it is and try to look at what has ben said?

    If a person truly cares about you and your well being then take the time out to notice things for face value.  If you feel that the truth isn't valid and doesn't hold "water" then continue to do you.  Don't try to focus on trying to prove them wrong.  If things fall apart then oh well. It's a learning experience that needed to happen in your life so you can grow as a person.  Just don't push away folks who are there for you.  Sooner or later, all that pushing is going to end up as you being a "Lone Ranger".  Think about it.

    Friday, September 4, 2009


    Testing 1.....2.....3....

    We good?

    *looks around*

    Yeah, we're good!
    Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

    Tuesday, September 1, 2009

    Don't call it a COMEBACK!

    OK....this is try #3 on this "blogging" thing....lol  I started 2 other blogs and I have failed to keep them up.  So consider this as my LAST "attempt" to keep an e-diary....lol.  I have nothing else to do so why NOT? I mean what's the worst that can happen right? I mean I could say some sh...*ahem* I mean things that can stir up some opinions and create haters, but hey....why not shake things up a bit? I mean, you can't have a good martini if it's not shaken right? Ok then.  Need to know more?  Hmmm.......I'm addicted to twitter so follow MMMEEEE!

    Anyway, I have things to do so I guess we'll talk later.  Ciao!