You ever make a split decision w/o thinking all the way through? We all do it and sometimes it actually works out for the better. Everything turns out a-ok. Then there's that time when you do make a decision and you have a Homer Simpson moment and your slappin yo forehead goin "D'OH!" b/c you should have thought about it before you acted upon your situation.
I had one of those moments today. I swear with everything in me, if I had the chance to take it back I would in a HEARTBEAT! I've been felling like sh*t in a handbag all damn day! I can't really get all the way mad at myself b/c I dropped the ball. I should have just took the time out to think and I would not be feeling this way at all. Now I'm sitting here worried b/c my actions may have messed up some shit in my life that's positive and may turn into another negative that I really don't need right about now.
The funny thing about it is, I wasn't even trying to be stupid, it just happened and I wasn't NOT expecting it. It was just like "BAM" here it is......what chu' gon' boo? Now after the sh*t popped off....it's just silence. Silence at times can be a good thing. I have 3 kids, so I appreciate the silence I do actually receive whether they're in school or asleep. However, when it's from someone you TRULY give a damn about, silence can kill you especially when it wasn't intentional. I guess it's out of my hands, I just hope that everything comes together and I pray that all shall be forgiven. Can I blame them for not forgiving? Not at all.....just hope that it doesn't come to that.
Anywho, just had to get that off my mind and heart. Deuces.